


a summer without you/the summer with him(PHAN)

by phoenixcreature



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Cheating, Dan Howell/Phil Lester - Freeform, Eating Disorders, Fluff, Heartbreak, Homophobia, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Phil Lester/Dan Howell - Freeform, Seduction, Shitty Smut, Smut, Summer Camp, dan dating other people, old charecter death, phil being a tool, talking about suicide, will i actually manage smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-09-25 00:21:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9794126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixcreature/pseuds/phoenixcreature
Summary: Dan's mother sends him to summer camp, leaving his boyfriend at home. Summer camp sends Dan through many things.





	1. Chapter 1

DAN P.O.V 

"MUM WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! WHY IS THIS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!?!?" Dan couldn't help but yell, he yelled down the stairs to where his mother was standing, Dan wasn't the only one yelling, his mother was yelling to and even louder than he was " DANIEL I WILL NOT HAVE THIS DISCUSION! YOU ARE GIONG AND THAT IS THAT!" For every word she spoke, Dan broke a little more. This wasn’t happening it was all just a nightmare, right? Right?! Dan found himself laying his head on his bed, tears streaming down his slightly red cheeks, it felt as if each tear created a long scar down his face, there was no way he was going to do this, he had tried everything for the past month sense he told his mum...THAT. Dan wasn't ashamed, but he wasn’t proud either. He knew one thing, he had to get out, Dan grabbed his backpack with a jumper, a water bottle and some chargers in, he put his wallet and phone in his back pocket and hurried out the window, he sneaked past the windows so his mother wouldn't notice him. She didn’t. He grabbed his bike and started going a way that all to familiar to his mothers liking, he was going to his boyfriends house.  
Why is it so hard for her to understand that I'm gay?!  
Its been a month sense I told her about my boyfriend and she has barely spoken to me!  
These thoughts caused more steams down Dan's burning red cheeks, he wasn’t mad, he was furious, disappointed, hurt and betrayed. The familiar red brick house came into view, his heart started beating even more, why? They had been dating for.almost a year now, they loved each other but, was Dan really going to ask him to run away with him? Or was he going to ask If he could stay here? At least his parents liked him, unlike his own. His Father had left Dan and his mum for a younger male, that's were his mums hatred for the "the homosexual sinners" as she called them, started. Knock knock Dan waited impatiently for SOMEONE! ANYONE! To open the door, and they did, his boyfriends mum opened the door, "Daniel are you alright? Why are you at this time of night?" She looked so worried as she checked her wrist watch for the time 11:28pm "yes Mrs. I'm alright, I just really need to speak with him, is that alright?" Dan's heart was almost beating of his chest, it was unreal "of course Daniel, go right ahead you know where his room is" They had tried so hard to make his mum say Dan, she denied she wanted the formality that came with Daniel and also, she liked the way it sounded. Dan walked through the house that felt more like home than his own, it smelled like the sun breeze from their scented candles mixed with Mrs. Flower perfume, it was an odd mix but it smelled divine as she would say. He walked up the familiar stairs, down the familiar hallway, up to the familiar door. He could hear the Mario kart soundtrack through the door. Dan cracked smile, remembering the times they'd sat on eithers bed playing Mario Kart, they kept teasing one another through the game, it ended with a small make out session, every time, good time his mother never walked in on that or they would both be dead in a heartbeat. Dan got it together and put his hand on the handle and slightly opened the door, "not now mum I'm playing" Dan couldn't help but chuckle, "babe, If you had mommy kink you should've just said so" the other boys body shot up in shock, "DAN?! Omg baby! What are you doing here?" He got up and ran over to Dan pulling him in for an embrace "I just needed to get out of the house, you know she's still sending me to summer camp, so we can't see each other all summer. Well enough of that right now, and PJ you know you could've cleaned your room" Dan let out a small laugh, he knew he wasn't much better, he just enjoyed teasing his boyfriend. They walked over to the bed where Pj previously sat alone playing the now forgotten Mario Kart, Dan sat down pulling Pj down on top, so he was sitting on Dan's legs. They didn't do anything which was highly unlike them, they were what you would call a very sexually active couple, they had done basically everything before they decided that a relationship was what they were interested in, their sex life didn't stop there, it only got more powerful. For once, Pj was just sitting on Dan's lap, Dan had his hands on his boyfriends waist, his thumbs rubbing on his hip bones under the shirt, they were talking about the situation and how his mum was sending him away, how was he going to survive 2 months without Pj? Sense they started dated the longest they had gone without one another was a weekend, and they had skyped every night, at this camp.. He had one phone call a week...how were they going to survive that. Dan felt so far away, Pj started kissing him, he knew he was being kissed but he didn't feel anything, not even Pj's soft lips, it was...strange, like he was somewhere else. Pj didn't seem to notice Dan was gone, Dan didn't even care, he didn't have the energy to tell him off, he let him do as he pleased and have his way with Dan, it was easier that way. 

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?! YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS AND YOU'RE LETTING IT HAPPEN?! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE LETTING MY PERFECT BOY INTERACT WITH YOU SCUM?!" Dan woke, he knew the yelling, he knew it all to well, it was his mother. Dan decided to wake up Pj, he was sleeping on Dan's chest, he looked peaceful, just as he stoked Pj's hair to wake him his mother stormed into the room. Dan wasn't expecting his mother to find up cuddling shirtless with his boyfriend. Dan honestly wished he could've taken a picture of the horror on all pj's, His mums and Dan's mothers faces, Dan somehow wasn't feeling anything, he knew what was in store. Tomorrow he was leaving for camp phoenix, he was leaving Pj for two whole months, he wanted to cry, but he couldn’t it was inevitable, he WAS going to this going to this camp. It felt as if he was thinking about death, you knew it was coming, no reason to dwell on it or feel sad. Because no matter what happens death will come, and so will camp Phoenix. Dan's mother was quick to grab his naked arm and pull of the bed away from his topless boyfriend, she dragged him out whilst yelling all kinds of things. Dan couldn't bring himself to care, he was in the car and before he knew it he was in his bedroom, the door was locked and so was the window, his mum had made sure of no escape. Dan collapsed on his bed knowing his mother would come in there and yell at him. Seconds turned to minutes and minutes to hours, suddenly Dan was fast asleep in a perfect dream, he felt home in that dream, everything felt right he was floating about, in a giant swirl of blues, greens white and the smallest black. Even though there was black it felt comforting not scary like the stuff Dan wore, this was more welcoming. The colours felt alive in this dream, like they were a person. Dan was ripped out of paradise, his mother. She threw a bag at Dan's feet "I've packed your stuff, go through to make sure you have everything. Meet me by the car in 15min" She spat as she left the room, she closed the door behind her giving Dan privacy to get changed. And so he did, he got into his usual black skinny jeans with a black t-shirt and a pleather vest over it, he straightened his hair, the least he could do was look presentable, he went through the bag his mother had packed, everything seemed to be there, he grabbed his toothbrush and brushed his teeth, put the straighteners and toothbrush with toothpaste back in the bag, he flung it over his shoulder with a sigh, this was happening, this was his death. Dan go into the car and plugged in his headphones all he needed was Matthew Bellamy singing sweet music into his ears to ignore his mother. He watched the scenery fly by, he looked at his phone to see if Pj had texted him, he hadn't it felt strange. They always texted each other first thing in the morning, Dan finally looked at the time for the first time.  
09:36am  
Pj usually woke up about 12:00, 

To The one<3<3: hey babe! Umm as I told you, I get one bloody call a week D: I'll be at camp lame ass before you wake up... I'll call you on Friday I swear baby ;)<3 

And that was it, the end of Dan's happiness and existence. The very first camp phoenix sign had shown up. Maybe Dan was being quite the drama queen but he had every right to in this moment, everything had been taken from him. His boyfriend, his friends, his town, his happiness. Only one good thing came out of this, no mother for two months.  
The houses started appearing, this was it Dans end.


	2. arrival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyy i'm so sorry this took me so long especially when you think about how short it is! i'm sorry that this is just a filler, already started the next chapter

PHIL P.O.V 

It was that perfect time a year again, time for summer camp. The only place Phil actually fitted in, he'd been coming to these camps for the past 5 years. Phil was kind of what you call a camp legend, everybody knew who he was, and if they didn't? Phil would make sure they did.   
"PHILLIP ARE YOU READY? WE'RE GOING NOW" Phil couldn’t help but crack a smile, he was going home. The car trip went fast, or when you're listening to muse? Everything goes fast and perfect, he was looking out, he almost knew the entire way to camp like the back of his hand. He was ready, ready to escape the real world and re-enter his dream one.   
One sign   
Two signs   
Three signs   
"welcome to camp Phoenix"   
Phil's heart jumped in excitement, he was finally back. He stood out the car and grabbed his bag from the trunk of the oddly yellow car, Phil's mum looked a little sad "it's gonna be fine, I'll survive don’t worry" Phil trying to hide hiss eager smile just a bit, "I know Phillip I'm just going to miss you" they hugged, Phil's mum thinking she was world famous wrestler trying to squeeze the life out of her pray. The moment he was let go of his death grip, he grabbed the bag and ran, whilst yelling goodbye. The assembly was starting, Phil hoped that Sam and Colby would be here this year! Maybe even be in either his cabin or the twin cabin.   
"WELCOME YOUNG CAMPERS! Welcome to camp Phoenix! I'm ecstatic to see so many new faces, remember you can't switch cabin, activities will start the day after tomorrow, and you will do these with your twin cabin. Listen here! check the board for your cabin! Cabins fire and ice go with Eli, he is your mentor, cabins water and sky go with Lainey, she is your mentor! Now that we gave sorted go to your cabins!"   
Phil walked over to check the list, guess he was in cabin ice again this year, he was with Colby, Sam was in another cabin, he knew a few people from the cabin and from cabin fire, mostly because he'd hooked up with them. Which was pretty much anyone who went to camp, everyone but the new ones, that would obviously change soon. Phil was on a never ending mission. They all followed Eli to their shared house, the two cabins sat in a circle, Eli asked the to say a sentence to introduce themselves, been there, done that, gonna get that, been there wasn’t that great.... Phil could barely help himself, at camp all he could think about is sex and who has he has don’t with or who is going to have it with, he didn’t listen to any of them, "umm.... hi, I'm Dan and... I'd rather watch anime then be here" Phil froze... This boy? Who was he? And why does he sound like winnie the pooh? But most importantly, why was Phil infatuated with this boys pale skin, chocolate brown hair with matching eyes. Phil must get this boy, he was the kind of boy that Phil liked to sleep with, he was skinny, tall and pale.   
The bell had just rung 5 which meant dinner was almost ready, Phil had gotten a few looks from people who he'd slept with and others who had heard of his reputation, yet he'd been looking at Dan all day.   
"honestly Phil, either go over there and blow him or stop looking at him all the time, you look fucking pathetic" Phil straightened up, he tried to play it off confused as if he didn't know what Colby was talking about.


	3. a place no one knows about

DAN P.O.V 

Fuck..   
When Dan arrived, the councillors were announcing the different things we needed to know blah blah, oh cabins! Wait.. Cabins are shared? So cabin fire and ice share a house and so forth...   
Dan squeezed through the crowd just to see what cabin to go in, he wished there was a cabin shiba inu... they all got sat in a circle like small children where they would introduce themselves, they all waited their turn, a girl just won the national championship in archery, a boy who played video games, a boy who had EIGHT BLOODY SIBLINGS?!, a girl who was from Scotland and....a boy...His name was Phil? He was gorgeous or well... adorable, he said he made.. YouTube videos? That was something Dan had always wanted but was always too shy, plus no one would even watch him so there was no point. It was Dan's turn, he couldn’t get that boy out of his mind so his introduction was a bit weird and he'd defiantly scared of both of the cabins, good job Dan.   
Later that night   
"hey, are you new here?" A somewhat feminine voice was heard from behind Dan, he turned around reluctantly, he nodded in response, the white haired boy stood a little to close for Dan's comfort, he is so damn short "yeah me too, my boyfriend Troye was here last year and loved it so he dragged me along, do you know anyone here?" Dan felt somewhat relieved when he found out that there were gay couples here, so he wouldn’t be looked too much down upon, but hearing that this short white haired boy had a boyfriend here at camp just made Dan miss Pj even more, which was clear to see sense the white boy immediately asked what was bothering him, for some reason he just started talking to this completely stranger like he was dear old friend, the white haired boy just listened, he would occasionally comment, but it was nice. It had started to get darker, the sun was on its way down, He had been sitting with Tyler for a couple hours just talking, no longer about pj and his homophobic mum, but everything in general. His boyfriend Troye even stopped by, he knew more about Tyler than he'd planned to. He seemed like a nice guy and Dan didn't mind making friends, maybe camp wouldn't be a living hell. There was a slim chance, this might be enjoyable.   
Bells ringing   
Dan looked around, looking to see if someone was panicking, it might be the fire alarm or something, Tyler quickly disclosed that it was just the dinner bell, as Tyler and Dan Met up with Tyler's boyfriend Troye, Dan accidentally tripped and bumped into... 

That boy from the cabin, What was his name again? He did not look pleased from this bump in. Before either could respond to the situation, Dan was pulled away by both Troye and Tyler,   
Don't go near him!   
Wait why? Is he an ass?   
That’s one way to explain him...   
What do you mean   
He's slept with everyone at camp..   
What about you two?   
Both Troye and Tyler looked at each other filled with regret, he knew the answer neither of them needed to respond, but Troye did   
Yes, he managed to get with me, this is the first time Tyler is here so he hasn't gotten him and never will. It was last summer, Phil is very good at talking, making you believe what he says is true... it was in the ships house, by the dock. That’s his usual spot, his minions make sure that no one gets in.   
Dan didn't like the story, but he kept listening, he was taken back by the way Phil was described, he looked so happy... and could a person who looked so innocent and sweet be such an ass? He noticed Tyler, he looked as if he was about to break down crying and brutally murder someone...most likely Phil. Which was understandable, "how do you know he sleeps with everyone?" Dan didn't only ask out of curiosity but also because he didn’t want to believe it. Dan couldn’t believe someone, anyone, could do that...   
The 3 boys walked into the dinning hall, it was filled with teenagers, talking, laughing and some even fighting. This, this was summer camp.   
They sat down after they'd gotten their food. 

PHIL P.O.V   
Finally dinner! Which also meant him and Colby would meet up with Sam, wonder if there were any hot people in his cabin? Phil had already scoped a couple new faces out, but that brown haired boy still stuck in his mind, "so? Found anyone worth your time?" Colby only wanted Phil with the hot campers whilst Sam thought he should make a record and fuck everyone even the councillors. "not sure, there is this dude who's like hot as hell, but you know sometimes straight guys can be harder to get" Phil tried to pretend as if it didn't matter, but in reality, he needed to get that boy in the bout house by the docks, he looked like sex on legs, there was no way Phil was missing this opportunity.   
Well what does he look like?   
He was brown hair and brown eyes, same height as me if not an inch or two taller and he's quite skinny but in a good way   
Wait, I saw him earlier, he wears all black right?   
Umm, yes?   
I heard him talking to some white haired dude.. About his boyfriend   
BOYFRIEND?! That means he's either gay or bi... and the fact he has a boyfriend was no problem for Phil, had never stopped him or anyone before.   
Well we have a target then   
They walked to the dinning hall to meet up with Sam but on the way there some dickhead fell into him, it... it was that boy, just as Phil was about to say something he was dragged off by two guys.. One of them Phil knew quite well, Phil managed to smirk at this boy who he'd forgotten the name of, all he remembered was that, they had sex last summer and he wasn’t exactly quiet, which meant he had something to talk to him about when he was near the brown haired boy.   
The night went on as they usually did, old faces blending in with the new ones. This was nice, he was just laying in a clear patch in the forest, not a lot of people dared to go this far in, it was like Phil's own little world away from reality where nothing else existed, he hadn't even told Sam and Colby about this place, he usually just went here at night, so he could look up at the stars and completely disappear from all problems and thoughs.


	4. the unholy trio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took me so long to get this out, been having writers block and didn't like anything i wrote, i'm not completely satisfied with this but its the best i could do

DAN P.O.V   
"But how could someone do that? Make someone feel so special just to sleep with them and then just... toss the to the side like rubbish?" Dan hadn't stopped talking about Phil, well, some of the stuff he thought of Phil he kept to himself. Like how they would make eye contact and Phil would wink at him or bite his lip, how whenever he did this Dan's heart did a flutter. Dan couldn't wait till Friday, he needed to hear Pj's voice, he was going mad. He wasn’t going to let Phil and the fantasy he brought, destroy Dan and Pj's relationship. It might be a bit rocky at the moment but they would work through it, the always did and maybe being apart for months would only make their relationship better. Luckily it was Thursday, he could call him tomorrow.   
"I don’t know, honestly it’s the worst thing I've ever experienced. I had bad dreams for a month after that night, although I consented at the time I still feel violated. It made me feel like an object, like I was worth nothing... the worst part is... I almost went back, and perused a second time, luckily I didn't" that look had returned, Tyler was furious yet on the verge of tears, Dan would be to, if Pj told him he'd gone through something similar Dan would break down, the though of someone you care for going through that? It was too much.   
Oh yeah! Have you found out who you're gonna call tomorrow you?   
Umm yeah I think so, my boyfriend pj. I really miss him   
Well I'd miss this dork too if he hadn't dragged me along   
The night went on with the 3 boys chatting, and dinner rolled around. Nothing really happened these past days they'd done their activities with Phil ever so often being caught starring at Dan, they'd make eye contact and Phil would wink and Dan usually turned around being flustered. They hadn't talked to anyone else, mostly kept to themselves but everyone at camp seemed to know who Dan was.   
Is that him?   
I heard he studied in New York and that’s why he's dressing so alternatively.   
You've got to be kidding me, HIM?!?!   
Neither Tyler or Troye seemed to have noticed wherever they walked someone was always looking at Dan and chatting about him. It was unsettling and the things they said didn’t make any sense.. Why him? Dan wouldn’t mind knowing either and why him what? And these rumours he's studied in New York were absolute bullocks, Dan had never in been to the U.S and he had a British accent how could anyone not hear that? Dan could feel everyone starring at him as he walked out of the dinning hall alone, it made his body tense up. He kept his eyes on the ground, walking straight towards their cabin where he could lie uninterrupted for at least 30 minutes whilst the rest were eating, he managed to escape with excuse he might have eaten something bad and wasn’t feeling well. Dan arrived at the cabin and opened the door leading into the common room between the 2 cabins. 

PHIL P.O.V 

"Phil! Phil I'm fucked!" Sam was running towards Phil, standing next to his cabin   
Who did you get In a fight with this time?   
No one I swear, the office just called me up   
Holy fuck who died?!   
Wha? No.. No one died but... Sarah she got hit by a car, my parents will be here in 5 minutes, I couldn’t find Colby please tell him   
Shit.. Yeah of course I hope she's ok   
And with that Sam was gone again... the bell for dinner had rung but Phil wasn’t feeling up for dinner, again. He just went in the cabin common room, the boys room had gone a bit smelly from pranks being pulled. He just sat there, starring at the painting facing the sofa, it was just a painting of the founding married couple and their daughter. She was about Phil's age, she was off limits Phil had tried, but she never talked...ever. His thoughts so occupied with worry for Sam's younger sister. The unholy trio was broken for the first time in years, Phil couldn't do anything but sit and ponder, camp without Sam? How does that even work? All he wanted was to sit there and cry but right as a tear escaped his eye, the door opened. Phil didn't turn around, it didn't matter who was there, he heard someone gasp, probably not expecting anyone to be here... there were no footsteps the person who had just entered the cabin hadn't moved sense seeing Phil, this poked at his interest, he lightly turned his head to see the tall brunette, frozen in his step. There weren't many windows in the common room, mainly just the glass door behind the brunette boy, his frame had darkened, the light behind him made him look unobtainable, angel like. "what do you want?" he spat, Phil didn't want to come of bitchy, he just automatically did. The brunette boy stood in silence, just watching. It was obvious, he knew what Phil had been doing. Phil couldn’t help but think, if only he'd walked in on me jerking off, that would've been way less embarrassing.


End file.
